Haegemonia of Mediocrity
Im sorry you lost your job, I know it's hard especially if you were working there for a long time.
I hope you know that you are a good person, good enough to overlook your flaws and open up to better versions of yourself anyway.
Do you know how hard it is to make something nobody cares about? I have a gut feeling that you do!
It can be as hard as you need it to be or rather as hard as it gets before you begin to care about it. It doesn't really matter what it is eventually it will become, and it will define some if not the whole of your personality.
There are no society for the crashouts, you are on your own standing in between the hyphae-network of the psychosocial substrate and the sociogenic tumors that it is built to avoid.
Just give up, there is absolutely no point in creating anything new.. you have to either destroy everything around your life that represents this normalcy or you have to fit in and find a job, or perhaps you are smart enough to keep a balance?
Or you can do like most of us do and create a fantasy to take part in, make it bulletproof because it's a wild world out there, best stay away from real things though and make it a fiction... perhaps a spaceship or a computer simulation scenario?
I struggle to write on this diary because frankly, everything I write feels like cogito hazard, everything I do feels like the void that grows inside of us all. Or maybe after you hear something often enough you start to believe it?
But hey enough about me, this is about you, the other person... you are rotten and nobody will help you. Take a good look at yourself and let that REALITY sink in.
Embrace the new normal, the haegemonia of mediocrity and seep in the crowd, this is your new home.
Pick a style of mediocrity from any of the social sources of supply you have around, go ahead nobody will notice anyway, they are way too busy hiding their own recipe of wickedness to truly pay attention to yours.
The same rant but as a poem.
Truth permits to wither and rot
There is no ground for you and me
There is no end but the void
Or whatever is left of it
Do you know how hard it is?
To make something nobody cares about
And watch as it grows away and fades dark
Into the soft glowy cold abyss
Where the wholeness and derelict
Hopes we gain, begins aloud
Into the depth I kept from you
Lie I did, withered and rot.